Montreal signs big right handed centre! - CONFIRMED

The Montreal Canadiens have signed one of those big fat guys from the NES game "Ice Hockey" to a one year deal. The deal came to be when one of those medium sized guys ended contract talks when he insisted he'd play all sixty minutes in each game. Bob Gainey went on the record as saying "ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!?" to the medium sized guy, and didn't even bother talking to the little dude, saying that "midgets really freak [him] out".